7 pm , 25/Feb : Blackberry Z10 India
Launch at at the JW Marriott Mumbai.
A big team was running around setting
up the venue. Sunil Dutt, Blackberry India CEO, looked on. 'Sunil, do we really
need 10 chairs?', event manager Sandeep asked. 'Sandeep, how many times do I
have to remind you that this is a flagship event for RIM, errr, BB, or whatever
Thorsten decides to call us today. We are launching the phone to end all
phones, the phone that will eat Apple's lunch and Samsung's dinner. Don't skimp
on the arrangements', Sunil retorted. ‘And make sure there’s curd rice. These
Madrassis have a knack of dropping in everywhere. But don't give me any
overpriced prawn dishes, huh? We don't have Korean entertainment budgets'
7.20 and a bored Ranbir
Kapoor was playing Temple Run 2. 'Dude, put your iPhone away and get your
stubble in place. It's time for the launch.' Ranbir grumpily took his place on
stage next to Sunil. 'Now what', he muttered.
7.30. 'Tada', Sandeep announced
loudly and lifted the curtain, startling the lone sari clad woman who almost
spilt her wine. 'Blackberry? I thought I was early for Parmeshwar's
party', she crooned, puzzled, before noticing Ranbir. She promptly swooned,
this time actually spilling her wine.
7.45. No one in the audience. 'What's
happening, Sandeep?!' Sunil complained. 'But I sent invites to everyone!'
Sudeep said, 'Even the Wilson College literary Club!. I told you to let me put an Apple logo on the invites. People would've flocked to the event without reading
the rest of it - we'd have a stampede on our hands.'
'Oh well, move to Plan B.' Sunil
said.
Sandeep went around adding
'Free Booze!
Free phones!
Free hugs from Ranbir Kapoor!'
to all the banners around the hotel.
8.15. 3 journalists waddled in, collected their drinks and their Z10s and
sat down. 2 giddy young girls dropped in, blowing kisses at the stage. '
'Let's start', Sunil announced.
'We now launch the phone to end all
phones, the phone which will eat the IPhone for lunch and Samsung for dinner. We
sold out our entire pre-order stock. Ranbir kindly bought BOTH of them. See, he
loves it'.
The Kapoor duly beamed and held up a black Z10.
'What do you like about the phone'?
One journo asked Ranbir. 'I can play Temple Run so well on it!', he gushed.
Sunil leaned across and whispered something. 'No, no, I meant Brick Breaker', Ranbir
stammered. 'Temple Run coming soon to BB. I also love Whatsapping with my
friends all day'. And Sunil had to whisper again. 'I meant BBN, umm, M.
Whatsapp is at an advanced development stage, Sunil promises. And it's a touch
phone. You can swipe it to do this and that! How unique is that?! '
'This amazing phone launches today at the low price of...' He looked
up from his script and glared at Sunil. 'Are you f***ing kidding me? I don’t
pay Javed that much every month for lip gloss and stubble maintenance' he
whispered loudly. '…Rs.43490'. The effort to stay enthusiastic was showing on
Ranbir.
And then his phone started buzzing. ‘Gotta take it, it’s DP’, he
muttered. And tried desperately to swipe every which way to activate the call.
After a while, he flung his BB, took out his Iphone and walked off stage,
apologizing profusely to someone for not picking up their call.
One journo, having polished off his 3rd drink, walked up
to the stage. ‘Err, Sunil ji, can you please take your phone and give me a Note
II instead? My daughter loves that S-Pen thingy’
‘Ok Gentlemen, it’s a wrap’, Sandeep announced, seeing the
Blackberry boss turning purple.
