The Lazy Runner

I have always been one of the laziest guys on the block. Half-hearted attempts at any kind of fitness activity (yoga/swimming/gym) were no match for full-blown attempts to find excuses to avoid such activity.

I used to read articles about how good exercise is, over a nice Chocolate ice-cream sundae and/or a beer. Once in a while, I would get tempted by some friend’s stories or prodding to hit the pool or gym, the frequency of which would of course decline to zero pretty quickly.

And then I discovered running. Though I was terrible at most sports, I had some vague idea that I possessed decent stamina, and should try my legs at some endurance activities. After decades, that idea finally got some action when I decided to attempt a few runs. And that, along with various other motivators (see earlier posts), meant that I have stuck with running for almost 3 years now. And as much I’ve loved it, it is clear to me that fitness is not the main goal.

The thing is, I don’t really enjoy other exercise stuff. Yoga tends to be boring, gyms scare me, and I look for excuses to avoid even simple stretches (Yes, I’m also a great procrastinator).  I don’t particularly mind doing all this, but sleep, or drinking, or pretty much any other activity, usually takes priority. Running is perhaps the only thing which gives me enough motivation to roll out of bed at an (in)decent hour.

And I love eating pretty much everything. I've switched to Diet Coke, but gluten-free or vegan/veggie diets appeal to me as much as warm beer.

I see friends working out every day, sometimes multiples times a day, doing Quad and P90x+ and 5X5 routines; reading and writing blogs on the latest nutrition and fitness trends, and I admire their effort and commitment. And reading/thinking about all their exertions tires me out so much I crave either beer or bed.

Yup, I haven't had a hankering for six-pack abs and stuff (and whatever little desire I had to this end went away seeing SRK’s shirtless performance in Om Shanthi Om). Some wobbly bits aren’t too bad, what?

I love running. I also love sleeping and lazing. Of course I want to run longer, faster, more often. I also want to sleep/rest longer, more often.

The balance is, to say the least, difficult. I am trying to find activities which, for the effort, will give me the best ROI in terms of improved running performance. Preferably something that I can do sitting on a sofa with the TV on (extra points if I can keep my hands free to hold the remote/glass). 

I know I will never be a particularly good runner. My goal, if any, is become a passable runner while having my share of sloth and torpor.

My goal is also to find the Grand Unified Theory by reading Calvin & Hobbes and Facebook Posts.